"I guess we all inherently know that our Time is limited. The difference between you and I was that I was reminded of it."
I have a deep fascination with the concepts of Time & Death.
Death is not a morbid subject for me. In fact, I find Death celebratory. When I attend funerals, I mourn as most people do. But there is this innate optimism to celebrate the Time spent by those who've gone through the experiences of life. In a way, it reminds me of the Time I have left in this world.
If you've ever been around me while I lure you into philo-existential questions, you've probably heard me ask, "how would you feel if you died today?"
I guess, to some degree, I just want everyone to live a fulfilled life. But our common societal programming leads us to believe that there'll be another moment, a tomorrow, another week, another month, another year.
My mom got breast cancer a couple of years ago. As optimistic as I am, I had to face the reality of the worse case scenario. At first, I was in denial. I asked her to get a second opinion. I didn't want to believe that Death could be waiting around the corner.
Around the same time, I came across a Reddit AMA–Cancer Patients & Survivors.
I was intrigued due in part of my coping, so I read through some of the discussions. There was one thread the really struck a chord with me.
The question: "How did you feel when the doctor broke the news that you have cancer?"
The response: "I guess we all inherently know that our Time is limited. The difference between you and I was that I was reminded of it."
My mom had beaten cancer. But the thought of Death had forever remained crucial to my relationship with Time.
Two years ago, one early morning, I took out my journal and started jotting down thoughts around my funeral. Also, it's important to note that I am not suicidal by any means. But I wrote down specific details–like how it should be celebratory, how I want people to dress colourfully, the songs I'd like for them to play (there were some wholesome Coldplay track in there, btw), how I want my assets to be distributed.
This exercise was liberating. It allowed me to keep Death at close quarters. It allowed me to appreciate the unknown amount of Time I have left.
It reminded me to be bold, to be surrendering to life, to not take myself so seriously. It allowed me to focus less on what others expected of me, and start aligning with how I truly want to live the rest of my life.
Over the past few years, I've come up with ways as to how I can fully get the most out of Time. These may not be applicable to you, but they have helped me tremendously.
- Let go of future-focused plans.
Why? Often times, the future is just a reflection of the past. I think it's healthy to have a vision for our life, but to plan it out in detail is just a bit absurd.
My plans in 2019 were as follows:
1. 2019: Get engaged
2. 2020: Buy a house
3. 2021: Get married
4. 2022: Start a family
Instead it looked like:
1. 2019: Get engaged
3. 2020: Leave my job
4. 2021: Get into a new relationship & get out of it
5. 2022: Travel - Focus on the NOW
What can you do now to find a sense of fulfillment? Take a break, a reset, and fulfill your wishes to start your new business or a new adventure. The NOW is where infinite Time exists. It is the only moment that matters.
A friend of mine has travel scheduled for October. We were discussing it and he told me how October is nearby. It's August. August had just begun. October is nowhere nearby. This type of yearning for future events to come is one sure way to let Time go much faster.
We're here at the present moment. There's nothing more powerful than enjoying this. This conversation. This music. This weather. This work. These thoughts. - Don't do too little, don't do too much.
I find that if I do too many things and attend too many events, Time goes by faster. I find that if I do too little, I yearn for the upcoming events.
Make Time for solitude, for contemplation. But also make Time for joy and love. In other words, let there be boring moments. Boring moments allow us to become introspective and appreciative of exciting moments. - Set an artificial deathline.
Yes, deathline. Not deadline. When shit got turbulent in my life, I told myself that I'd only live till 56. That is, if my mid-life crisis occurred at 28, then 28 * 2 = 56. Everything beyond this age is a bonus, but I'll be damned sure to make the most of my Time til then.
Now go out there and remember that you too will face the inevitable. Live out your dreams, dance like nobody's watching, and embrace Death so you can appreciate Life and the Time we have left!
💵 Balance: $738 (⬆️ $313)